I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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