i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
