Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
