the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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