I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
