I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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