paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You need Xanax blowdarts
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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