you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
