Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
