That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
