eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
