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i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
