My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
false alarm, still single
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
