Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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