I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize