she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
