Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
