I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Send help, water and tortillas.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
