my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
