In the future we'll all be gay
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
