we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
