3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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