Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
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