people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
