Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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