...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
