She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
