hell yes lets make some ravioli
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
