Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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