That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize