3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
