Will you blow on my dice?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize