I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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