can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
