The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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