No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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