So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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