The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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