There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
