and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize