another moral hangover. fuck.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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