I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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