Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
