Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
