Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
