I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Randomize
