handjob tips. give me some.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
