I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
