it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Sorry my hands just texted you
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
