Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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