sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I have demons in me.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
