i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
where am i from again
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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