I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
