this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
