Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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