you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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