I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
