Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
