Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He felt like a one man threesome
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
