He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
