i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
