i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
